Together and Blessed.- Forgiveness

Theme - Together and Blessed

Sunday, 17^th August 2014.

Message Notes-  Together and Blessed: How to Forgive.

Taken and adapted from the internet

How to Forgive

1. Realize that the hate you feel toward your enemy does not harm them in the slightest.  Wholistic/ wholeness/ holiness.
2. See the bigger picture with an “eagle eye”.  Are there good things?
3. Look for the helpers & "good Samaritans"?
4. Be compassionate with yourself. Be patient and kind to yourself.
5. Aramaic word for "forgive" means literally to "untie."
6. Forgiveness needs to be unconditional, it doesn’t come with strings.
7. Stop telling "the story".
8. Start telling "the story" from the other person's perspective.
9. Retrain your thinking. Pray for them, send them a blessing.
10. Maintain perspective,
11. Warning - Forgiveness is not acceptance of wrong behavior.

Tips for Forgiveness

·  "Those who are the hardest to love, need it the most."

·  Hate is like an acid. It destroys the vessel in which it is stored." Ann Landers

·  "Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy;" Hebrews 12:14a (NIV)

·  Max Ehrmann - "As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons."

·  Forgiveness is a choice. Don’t say, "I can't forgive them," what you're really saying is, "I'm choosing not to forgive them."

·  "Hating someone is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it."

·  "If we could read the secret history of our enemies we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

·  "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" - The Golden Rule

Genesis 45:1-15

45:1 Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried out, "Send everyone away from me." So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers.

45:2 And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it.

45:3 Joseph said to his brothers, "I am Joseph. Is my father still alive?" But his brothers could not answer him, so dismayed were they at his presence.

45:4 Then Joseph said to his brothers, "Come closer to me." And they came closer. He said, "I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt.

45:5 And now do not be distressed, or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life.

45:6 For the famine has been in the land these two years; and there are five more years in which there will be neither ploughing nor harvest.

45:7 God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors.

45:8 So it was not you who sent me here, but God; he has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt.

45:9 Hurry and go up to my father and say to him, 'Thus says your son Joseph, God has made me lord of all Egypt; come down to me, do not delay.

45:10 You shall settle in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children's children, as well as your flocks, your herds, and all that you have.

45:11 I will provide for you there--since there are five more years of famine to come--so that you and your household, and all that you have, will not come to poverty.

45:12 And now your eyes and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see that it is my own mouth that speaks to you.

45:13 You must tell my father how greatly I am honored in Egypt, and all that you have seen. Hurry and bring my father down here."

45:14 Then he fell upon his brother Benjamin's neck and wept, while Benjamin wept upon his neck.

45:15 And he kissed all his brothers and wept upon them; and after that his brothers talked with him.

Matthew 15: 21-28

15:21 Jesus left that place and went away to the district of Tyre and Sidon.

15:22 Just then a Canaanite woman from that region came out and started shouting, "Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is tormented by a demon."

15:23 But he did not answer her at all. And his disciples came and urged him, saying, "Send her away, for she keeps shouting after us."

15:24 He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel."

15:25 But she came and knelt before him, saying, "Lord, help me."

15:26 He answered, "It is not fair to take the children's food and throw it to the dogs."

15:27 She said, "Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."

15:28 Then Jesus answered her, "Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish." And her daughter was healed instantly.

Message – Together and blessed-  How to Forgive.

The two Bible today are both stories of inclusion,

they are about embracing the other.

Stories of people gathering other people into community

despite enormous odds.

In one, the Canaanite woman seems to change Jesus mind about whether or not people beyond Israel should be included in new order, the new Reign of God that Jesus is creating. 

Helping to say that the people who are different/ the “other” is okay.

In the other Genesis story there is Joseph

Joseph who reconciles with his brother and wider family without revenge.

You may hve the story in previous weeks

-about how these are the guys who threw him down the well

and sold him into slavery in the first place.

Yet, here we see that compassion and forgiveness overcome evil;

And such reconciliation is possible because God is involved.

Reminding us that God cares about the people beyond Israel, too.

Reminding us that God’s saving love and grace are for everyone.

Maybe there have been times when you have felt excluded?

Or actually you have realise that you have excluded others? It can be easy to do.  I know I have unintentional done it.

Maybe there been times when you have been wronged?

Or you have wronged others.

Again, it can be easy to do. 

Interestingly, the Good News is that God is with us

even when we have unforgiving attitudes

and blessedly even more so when we wish to live in Godly forgiveness.

So how do we forgive?? .

How to Forgive?  

One of the hardest, thorniest and most difficult things we humans

are ever called upon to do is to respond to evil with kindness,

and to forgive the unforgivable.

We love to read stories about people who've responded to hatred with love,

but when that very thing is demanded of us personally,

 our default position seems to be anger, angst, depression, righteousness, hatred, etc. Cause we are human ….

Yet study after study shows that one of the keys to longevity and good health

is to develop a habit of gratitude and let go of past hurts.Want to live a long, happy life? Forgive the unforgivable.  It really is the kindest thing you can do for yourself.

Your enemy may not deserve to be forgiven for all the pain and sadness and suffering particular if have purposefully inflicted it on your life, but you deserve to be free of this evil. So here are some steps that have been suggested to me- .

1.            Realize that the hate you feel toward your enemy does not harm them in the slightest. Chances are, they've gone on with their life and haven't given you another thought.

  

This is a simple but huge part of this.  That as Ann Landers often said,"hate is like an acid. It destroys the vessel in which it is stored."

Unforgiveness is like acid to the soul.

This is proactively working towards healing and wholeness is so important to Christians seeking the way of Christ. 

I was once told the wholeness has the same language root as holiness, remember that holistic, as in holistic medicine for the whole body,  is often spelt wholistic. 

2.            See the bigger picture with an “eagle eye”.  See the bigger picture, all its edges, not just a small piece or just your point of view, or just the negatives.

Try to make a list of the good things that happened as a result of this awful experience. Joseph was able to see that because of his exile to Egypt he was now in a position to help his people.

If you have focused long enough on the bad parts of this experience. Try, looking at the problem from a wholly new angle; look at the good side.

The first item on that list may be a long time coming because as humans we tend to focused on the bad for so long, but don't give up. Take courage and maybe you will find 10 good things that happened specifically because of this experience, you have to struggle with this. Forgiveness is not easy work.

3.            Look for the helpers. Ask yourself who has help you through this? Fred Rogers related that, as a little boy, he'd often become upset about major catastrophes in the news. His mother would tell him, "look for the helpers."    

In your own nightmarish experience, think back to the people who helped you. Think about the people who have acted with kindness and unselfishness.

Perhaps someone was your "good Samaritan"?

In this biblical story, a traveler happens upon a poor soul who was beat up on the road to Jericho and left for dead.  

Perhaps your trial provided an opportunity for others to rise to an occasion to provide you with help and support.

4.            Be compassionate with yourself. If you've ruminated over this problem for a long time, steering this boat into a new direction could take some time, too. As you try to make a new path out of the dark woods of this old hurt, you'll make mistakes.  Forgive yourself.

Be patient and kind to yourself. Extreme emotional pain has a profound effect on the body.  Give yourself time to heal - physically and emotionally.

Eat well. Rest.     Focus on the natural beauty in the world.

5.            Learn that the Aramaic word for "forgive" means literally to "untie."

The fastest way to free yourself from an enemy and all their negativity is to forgive.  Lose yourself from them and the ugliness of the situation.

Hatred has tied you to them. Your forgiveness enables you to start walking away from them and any consequential pain.

6.            Forgiveness must be unconditional.

Therefore, it cannot be dependent upon the repentance of those who have harmed us. However, forgiveness of this type must be applied with wisdom and discernment.

Unless those who have harmed us have truly repented of whatever they have done, we need to use wisdom in avoiding repeating the hurt. This may require avoiding those who are unrepentant of the harm that they have inflicted upon us.

After all, True forgiveness is unconditional and not predicated on any act or request from the offender, it doesn’t come with strings. It isn’t I will forgive you if you do this and this for me.  That’s negotiating an agreement and that a good thing but a different one.

7.            Stop telling "the story" from your perspective.

How many times this week did you tell "the story" about how badly you were hurt and how horribly you were wronged? How many times a day do you think about this hurt?  Our story’s can become like an obsessive habit.  When I was a little kid I would get into trouble for picking at the scabs on my knees. 

If you keep retelling the story, it is a stake driven into the ground that keeps you from moving away from this hurt.

Rather, forgive your enemy because it's the kindest thing you can do for your friends and family. Negativity is depressing, physically, mentally, spiritually and emotional.  Our sad stories can be like that.  The invitation is that in Christ, we  tell a different story of our redemption and healing through forgiveness.

8.            Tell "the story" from the other person's perspective. Actually imagine that you are the other person (the one who offended you). You don't know exactly what the other person was thinking but work it through from their perspective.   

Just your willingness to tell the story from the offender’s perspective requires a bit of forgiveness. This perspective has the power to change how you think and feel about your own story.

9.            Retrain your thinking. When your enemy and their evil actions come to mind, send them a blessing. Pray for them, that God may grant them insight and wisdom and genuinely mean it. Wish them well. Hope the best for them.

This has two effects. One, it neutralizes that acid of hate, with in you that destroys the vessel in which it is stored. The evil we wish for another seems to have a rebound effect.

The same is true for the good that we wish for another. When you become able to return blessing for hatred, you'll know that you're well on the path to wholeness.  Realistically, the first 15 or 150 times you try this, the "blessing" may feel contrived, empty, and even hypocritical but keep trying. Eventually, it will become a new habit and soon thereafter, the anger and pain that has burned in your heart will evaporate, like dew before the morning sun.

10.        Maintain perspective: While the "evil" actions of your "enemy" are hurtful to you and your immediate surroundings, the rest of the world goes on unaware. Validate their meaning in your life, but never lose perspective that others are not involved.  Your pain does not mean that you can spread it around or take it out on third parties who just happen to be passing by.

  

The type of forgiveness discussed here is intended to free you from the impotent rage, depression, and despair that nursing a grievance causes.

11.        Forgiveness is not acceptance of wrong behaviour. If you must continue to interact with someone who has wronged you, who has offered a lame apology only to follow it up with more bad behavior, nothing requires you to trust such a person.

While it's fruitless to torment yourself over this person's actions, you should not be his or her willing victim. Acknowledge; move on.

An offender who wants reconciliation must do their part: offer and negotiate a sincere apology, promise not to repeat the offense (or similar ones), make amends, and give it time.

Even if you don't see repentance on their part, it is important to understand that according forgiveness to that person is a benefit to yourself, not just the offender. 

(Adapted From WikiHow – “How to Forgive.”)

Human relationships are often difficult, and events might seem to conspire against a healthy and fulfilling life together. Yet God empowers us to restore fractured relationships.

The challenge remains, how do we, as individual and as church,

          Embrace opportunities for reconciliation and forgiveness?

With each other, with the wider community and with the very earth that we live on?

Let us be confident that God’s presence in reconciliation brings a new, sacred unity to community for us all. Through God’s gifts of forgiveness, love and hope, we can in turn offer forgiveness love and hope to others and in doing so metaphorically walk the path of Christ to healing and wholeness and holiness.

River Sunday & Vikki's Resurection Principle

River Sunday 2014.  Seasons of Creation.

We worship with creation in the rivers.  ‘The river of God is full of water’. Psalm 65:9

Feel free to take this order of service home with you to reflect on during the week!

Please join in on the bolded parts.

Readings for River Sunday.

Old Testament: Genesis 8:20–22; 9:12–17 ‘God’s promise to Earth’

After the flood God promises that Earth and all of life on Earth will be preserved by God, in spite of the sins of human beings.

Genesis 8:20-22

    Noah built an altar to God. He selected clean animals and birds from every species and offered them as burnt-offerings on the altar. [21] God smelled the sweet fragrance and thought to himself, "I'll never again curse the ground because of people. I know they have this bent toward evil from an early age, but I'll never again kill off everything living as I've just done.

     [22] For as long as Earth lasts,        planting and harvest, cold and heat,

    Summer and winter, day and night        will never stop."

Genesis 9:12-17

    God continued, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and everything living around you and everyone living after you. [13] I'm putting my rainbow in the clouds, a sign of the covenant between me and the Earth. [14] From now on, when I form a cloud over the Earth and the rainbow appears in the cloud, [15] I'll remember my covenant between me and you and everything living, that never again will floodwaters destroy all life. [16] When the rainbow appears in the cloud, I'll see it and remember the eternal covenant between God and everything living, every last living creature on Earth."

    [17] And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant that I've set up between me and everything living on the Earth."

Gospel: Matthew 28:1–10 ‘God’s celebration with Earth’

The resurrection of Christ is also celebrated by creation. An earthquake accompanies the advent of the angel and the rolling away of the stone.

Matthew 28:1-10

    After the Sabbath, as the first light of the new week dawned, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to keep vigil at the tomb. [2] Suddenly the earth reeled and rocked under their feet as God's angel came down from heaven, came right up to where they were standing. He rolled back the stone and then sat on it. [3] Shafts of lightning blazed from him. His garments shimmered snow-white. [4] The guards at the tomb were scared to death. They were so frightened, they couldn't move.

    [5] The angel spoke to the women: "There is nothing to fear here. I know you're looking for Jesus, the One they nailed to the cross. [6] He is not here. He was raised, just as he said. Come and look at the place where he was placed.

    [7] "Now, get on your way quickly and tell his disciples, 'He is risen from the dead. He is going on ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there.' That's the message."

    [8] The women, deep in wonder and full of joy, lost no time in leaving the tomb. They ran to tell the disciples. [9] Then Jesus met them, stopping them in their tracks. "Good morning!" he said. They fell to their knees, embraced his feet, and worshiped him. [10] Jesus said, "You're holding on to me for dear life! Don't be frightened like that. Go tell my brothers that they are to go to Galilee, and that I'll meet them there."

River Sunday Message: A Reflection on Water.

We begin our life walking in the water of our mother's womb.

As the story of Drip reminded us 70% of our bodies is water.

In baptism we are again born of water and the Spirit.

All the water on Earth is recycled.

Ultimately we have shared the same raindrops as Moses or Jesus.

How do we become aware of the spiritual dimension of water?

We survive because of the waters of life, every day.

Yet we are often oblivious to this life force within us and around us,

         The mystery of God in the world around us.

Let us do a little reflection.

Hold your river stone and think about standing in the river with water washing over our feet. 

Maybe the there are river gums and the sun shining through the leaves. 

Think where that water has come from springs, rain, clouds, oceans, the moist breath of God.

When we think on the water within us, water we breathe, taste and drink to stay alive.

Then we may reflect on the journey of the water after it flows downstream and into the sea.

Water is apart of the very mystery of life.

There are many more species of life deep in the ocean than there are on land.

Clean waters are so quickly polluted with refuse, chemicals and human waste.

Imagine as you stand in the river with the water washing over your feet.

That a small branch, is dipped into the water and sprinkle it over your heads.

You, who share birth by water and the Spirit are blessed by the water.

Most of you here are probably a baptised people and,

         when God became a human being,

God was also born of water and continues to be a living presence in water.

Interesting thought isn’t is.

God was born of water and continues to be a living presence in water.

Can we imagine that as a part of the mystery of the incarnation?

Let us leave our imagined river, figuratively dry our feet and come back to the seats and the surrounding of this Church in Eden Hills.

This Sunday we are thinking about the renewal of creation.

And we are exploring our bible readings to discover the way God renews creation, not only through waters and rivers

but also through God’s healing Spirit.

My friend Kay lives near what used to be a little creek

until the council took out the reeds

and evened it out so that it could be mowed instead.

She missed the sounds of the frogs in the evenings,

so she put a couple of frog ponds in her garden, in the front and back yard.

Interestingly,  the frogs in the front garden tend to have a deep “croak, croak” but the ones in the back go “creek, creek”.

And something lost in the area has been reclaimed.

God’s constant invitation is to reclaim that which has been lost.

Our God is a god of renewal and hope.

We are called to be people to live by the resurrection principle.

To have hope that out of death comes new life.

When I first heard to the Story of Noah, I was nearly 20 years old.

And I came to love rainbows.

It was one of the joys of when I was living in Findon,

standing in the Coles car park, on Grange Rd where it was flat

looking towards the hills I saw some of the best rainbows that I have ever seen. The atmospheric conditions or the geography must be just right.

When I heard the story of Noah, I saw rainbows in a new light.

Rather than simply being a beautiful natural thing,

         I saw them as a sign and promise of God’s covenant love,

Similarly, the rainbow appearing after the great Flood has long been a symbol of hope and healing for Earth and life on Earth. 

Before we celebrate that rainbow, however, we need to recall the background of why this great symbol was created.

Why do we have the story of God sending the Flood? 

According to the narrator of Genesis, God sent the Flood because Something had gone wrong with God’s plan for creation. 

God therefore decided to send the Flood to destroy Earth and all its inhabitants.

If we accept the story as it stands, billions of species would have been destroyed. That is a curse of massive proportions.

The story of the Flood is a return to the beginning of Genesis with waters everywhere and Earth lying in darkness below them

(Gen. 1.2). 

So, when we look at the flood story figuratively,

is like a reset of creation,

like when our phone or computer stuff up

and we hit the reboot or reset button to begin again.

Any new beginning would remove this curse and be a total renewal of creation—a new creation formed from the residue of the old.

The pivotal moment in the Flood narrative, however, is when God responds to the offering of thanks given by Noah and says:

‘I will never again curse the ground because of humanity!’ (8.21)  This word from God is a message of hope for Earth. (pause)

The whole cycle of nature, the times and seasons of creation,

ensure the web of life is preserved, will never be broken again. 

Earth will be fertile for those humans who serve it as God intended.

Creation has been renewed.

In the second Genesis reading, the focus changes from removing the curse and maintaining the cycles of nature

to confirming the promise of a new relationship between God and creation. 

This promise is confirmed by a covenant, an eternal bond with creation,  the rainbow

The rainbow is God’s special sign confirming this covenant,

this personal agreement. 

It is important to recognise that the covenant is not simply with Noah or humanity, but embraces all living creatures, the kin of humankind in creation.

The covenant, however, extends even further.

The rainbow is a sign of the covenant, says God, ‘between me and Earth’ (Gen. 9.13).  Earth—its mountains, trees, rivers and fields—are now incorporated in God’s covenant. 

Why is the rainbow in the sky? 

For human beings to remember God’s promise! 

Perhaps! 

Yet maybe, the rainbow is there for God to remember. 

Like a metaphorical ribbon around the “finger” of God. Maybe?

Anyhow, When we see the rainbow we can be assured

God will keep this promise with creation.

And in the Matthew Reading, which is often read at Easter,

the resurrection of Christ is also celebrated by creation.

An earthquake accompanies the advent of the angel and the rolling away of the stone

The earth moves for the two Mary’s and the writer of Mathew

tells that a shimmering angel opens the tomb to a reveal that it is empty.

The angel says- “Quickly, go tell the disciples that Jesus Christ is no longer dead.”

Vikki’s Resurrection Principle.

One, last story, I was talking to my friend Vikki about something,

she is a wise friend who I turned to at times.

I can’t remember what I was worried about.

It is not important now but it was terribly, terribly important at the time.

Anyway the point of this story is that worried,

 I went and spoke to my friend Vikki. 

I told her how

I felt that things just seem to be fallen apart around me and that I was uncertain of how things were going to come together next.

The conversation that followed went something like this-

She told me to have faith in the “Resurrection Principle”.

“The Resurrection Principle”  I parroted back her.

“Yes, the Resurrection principle.  You know, like Jesus”

“Resurrection Principle, Like Jesus” 

I confess that I was so caught up in my own stuff

that I was taking on any new ideas really fast at all. 

At this point Vikki heaved a big sigh,

fortunately she did however persist

and she said something like this. 

This isn’t word for word and I have probably embroidered it a bit. But it was something like this

“You know the Resurrection Principle,

 that you have to die to have new life.”  

“I am not planning on dying, I don’t have time.”

“Not literally dying” she said with a sigh, it was probably fortunate for me

that she didn’t have something heavy like a book in her hands. 

Vikki was not renowned for her patience and she was getting that

“I-see-that-I-am –going-to-have-to –explain-it” look on her face.

“The resurrection principle is not just about big things

like death and dying

but is also about other significant moments in our lives. 

- It is about how we approach change and grief management.  –

There are many times in our lives when we have to let go

and move onto the next stage.

-Where we have to die to the old hopes and dreams and ambitions,

in order to make room for the new ones.

-It is clearing the deck, creating a breathing space, a vacuum

and living in the pause for then there is the space for new things.

A place to hear the still small voice of God

  and then and only then a time for planning

for the new paths that God will invite you on without a doubt.

- Remember that while it is true that God loves us as we are

and in that love we are made complete.  At the same time, God’s invitation to grow and move forward is always there.

That’s the Resurrection Principle”.  She finished with a flourish.

I had much to think about,

so I thanked her for her words and her care and went on my way.

That was a significant turning point in my life.

My friend’s idea about the resurrection principle helped me to see

that I needed to let go of something that was very important to me

at the time and reprioritise my life,

 and when I let it go of what i needed to let go of,

trust that God was in the empty space that was now left in my heart. 

As I said, it was a confusing time for me,

as I had thought that I was doing what I was called to do. 

Had I got it wrong or what?  Where was God in all of this confusion?

As a point of interest,

After much reflection and the clarity of time passing.

It turned out I was doing was the right thing

but I was trying to do everything at once, without all the facts

rather than let plans unfold like rose petals. 

It was a confusing time.

.

There is no such confusion in each of the reading today.

Mary is happy once more that she has seen the Lord.

And so we celebrate that out of death comes new life.

The resurrection principle is that we die to be reborn.

That no matter how dark the road,

Grim the journey

Desperate the situation

God is with us in this life journey and the promise is always that, somehow somewhere , there will be new life, and a new beginning.

Or as the movie - The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel – puts it Everything will be all right in the end... if it's not all right then it's not yet the end.

What we see in today’s reading is – that  the dynamic nature

of God's love for and action in the world is evident.

-The gospel reading points to the future,

and a different way of seeing the world.

- This is the embracing role of the good news,

 - that it is available to all.

What is our response?.

Let us consider two responses to the Easter story-

1-   The disciples can still be found in a locked room, as though they are in a tomb of their own making as if waiting for something,     but they don't know.  That is, if they haven't already fled.

2-   The women on the other hand are being proactive.  They have rolled their sleeves up to the do the work of whatever they can do that needs doing.  And are at the tomb with spices and are thus the first to stumble across the promise in the empty tomb.

This reminds us that Resurrection living is not something to wait for.

It is something to live and work for both within ourselves and without    So let us accept God’s invitation of love and respond to it.

Make it something to move towards something and strive for it,

We need to look out for the places of resurrection in our lives.

And creation is one of the places that we can look, as it reminds us of the resurrection with its seasons and cycles or renewal and rebirth.

And the message today is that God is not just with us, but that God is with and in the earth.  Our God is a God of abundance of new life and new beginnings for all of creation.  And as God’s children, we are invited to be a part of the dance of life itself. Amen

I acknowledge the influence and material used from "Seasons of the Spirits" resource. Also, the websites of Bill Loader and Bruce Prewer.  Thank you.